I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
