Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
