they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
