Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
