U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
