just come out here and I will go home with you...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
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You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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