dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
