Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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