East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
