I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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