never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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