whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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