white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
