I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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