no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
don't judge my taste in strippers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
