You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
