You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
