so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
