dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
