I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We have started to decorate penises.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
