Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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