I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
