I would go down on you faster than GM stock
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
then he tried to convert me to islam
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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