I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
