Don't you send me to vm
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I did not marry a roomba.
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