oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
