I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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