we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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