Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
