hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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