thus making me awesome and them whores
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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