he was CRYING into my vagina
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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