why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
