also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize