Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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