her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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