it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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