I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Drunk is not a location!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
