She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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