What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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