im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
