I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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