She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
