Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
