...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
