i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
