I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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