i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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