"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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