Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The Olympian is in my bed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
