But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
