come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
