Your tits are I can't wait for
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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