She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
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He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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