I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
