Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
