don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
