His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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