i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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