I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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