and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
